the give and take

i consider myself a realist. marcus will argue that i am an optimist, but that's because he's a pessimist who thinks HE is the realist. believe me, we could argue on this point for hours. it's oddly confusing to really ponder who is right in this situation. let me tickle your brain with my thoughts on this...

i see my life as being full of TRUE moments. that there are great things and not so great things. but i fully embrace that that's just life. you win some, you lose some. i go into things knowing that they might end in disaster, but knowing that it might also turn out to be wonderful. and let's be quite honest...none of the "bad" things are ever life ending. they're just uncomfortable. at the end of the day, i think that's what pessimists are really afraid of...not the bad stuff, but the level of discomfort that they bring. i, on the other hand, approach things knowing that i'm going to have an EXPERIENCE. whether good or bad, i happen to find comfort in knowing that either will build some character into my life. but this is where the line starts to blur. it seems like i'm being realistic because i see the balance in life...but i view good and bad things as all positive in the long run. so am i really being an optimist?

sigh...i guess the problem is that i'm getting caught up in the terminology. who really cares what i'm called...the point is that i'm content with my life. i love living it. and as i began to look back on the past few weeks, i couldn't help but smile as i recounted the balance that my life offers me.

highlights this month:
1. going out on the weekends...with other couples! we are officially moving up in the ranks of social competency. staying cooped up in the basement, watching dvr-ed movies and shows for 6 hours straight is starting to become a thing of the past :) featured outings include: st. louis oktoberfest, football watching parties, local "mexican" food restaurants, and game nights
2. training for the thanksgiving 5k! i used two dread two things during exercise. 1)working out with someone and 2) running. first off, i like to be alone. it is probably the one time when i absolutely don't want marcus around. i get in a zone and i don't have the time or energy to devote to anyone else but myself. secondly, i get winded too fast. i feel like my chest is going to burst after three or four minutes. i used to seriously think i might have exercise-induced asthma (hypochondriac's mind at work).
however........my sister suggested that we run a 5k as a family on thanksgiving day. she sent me a website on how to train for it, and marcus reluctantly agreed to join me in the weekly sessions. i wanted him more for accountability than anything. but through the process, i have come to love the time together. it's debatable whether one might call it "quality" time or not. but it is time TOGETHER, doing something as a team, going through the same experience. priceless. i have also learned to love running...er...it's more like jogging, but still. if i had set out on day one, trying to run for 20 minutes without stopping, i would have failed...miserably. but the program gradually eases you into it. and each time, when i can run just a little bit further and little bit longer, i feel like i can move mountains! only four more weeks to go!
3. discovering that fall foliage really exists! i think illinois and missouri can seriously rival the autumn colors of new england. i'm not kidding! there is this magnificent little bridge on my way to work with old timey lamp posts, and this spread of yellows and reds and golds wrapped around it. i pass it every day and am still overwhelmed each time.
4. finally organizing the garage and getting our weedy yards to grow grass! after 4 attempts at each, marcus managed to find a way to make it work in the outdoor department. we now have the open space for winter parking and a luscious lawn to stare at.

lowlights this month:
1. accidentally dropping my sunglasses down a porta-potty hole at oktoberfest and realizing that finding good mexican food, sadly, is a thing of the past
2. feeling like an arthritic old woman 5 days a week from running in the frigid cold on concrete roads...quasi ear infection pain to boot
3. being an hour late to work one morning after sitting in a two hour traffic jam. teachers can't just "be late." i felt horrified, flustered, annoyed. to be quite honest, making a 40 minute commute to work and then back again every single day is getting really old too. (thank God for books on cd!)
4. risking our savings account and world war III over the outdoor space organization fiasco

so there's life...how can i not love it?