goodbye austria, hello italy??

milan 1.......and only.....
the day we left austria was to be our longest train ride. seven hours to be exact. actually, it was two train rides. we had a stop in verona for about an hour before heading on to milan. as sad as we were to leave austria behind, we were eager to see what beauty italy would have in store for us. i mean, verona is the setting for romeo and juliet. and milan is the fashion capital of italy. they had to be amazing, right??? but when we pulled in to our first stop, our stomachs started to sink. verona. dirty. ragged. run down. as we wandered around just outside the train station for a half hour, we wondered if this was to set the tone for the remaining 5 days. maybe it was just this one small stop. we crossed our fingers, hoped for the best, and hopped back on a train for milan. we arrived to a grand and glorious train station. this was more like it! i snapped a photo of marc standing in the main terminal to commemorate our fortune. but it didn’t last long. we headed out onto the main streets and realized the train station had been a mirage. the only tasty drink for our eyes in this otherwise bleak and dusty city. it was incredibly urban and incredibly old. and when i say old, i don’t mean “charming” old. i mean falling down, disgustingly old. if you have ever read great expectations, you may very well be able to identify with me when i describe every building as being akin to miss havisham’s satis house. black mossy growth on crumbling stone eaves. cracked and tattered window coverings. rickety doors and cluttered streets. de—press—ing. by this point, we were 20 minutes into our walk to the hotel and we had begun to accept that it most likely wasn’t going to be pretty when we got there. since we were basically only in milan for a “layover” of sorts, we had chosen an inexpensive hostel just to rest our weary heads before getting on the road again. had we KNOWN that milan is a virtual mexico, there’s not a chance that we would have booked a hostel.....especially this one. when we got inside, we found a flickering light bulb, antiquated bedspread, barred window shutters, and possibly the tiniest shower stall known to man. you have to love this situation. and instead turning to run, we actually busted up laughing. and i don’t think we stopped laughing all night. marcus kept claiming, “it’s just for 12 hours. we can do anything for 12 hours.” but we also decided to cut that 12 hours down to 7 by spending as much time outside of that terrible room as possible. we were instantly off to find the quickest way to the airport for our car rental the next morning. we walked in literal circles for an hour until we tracked down an awesome direct bus system that leaves every 20 minutes. perfect. now for some dinner. we scanned the menus up and down the main road. indecisive beings that we are, we never stopped. i think we were both skeptical about paying too much and nothing seemed to be piquing our frugal interests. until....we came upon a small cafe with a sign claiming “happy hour.” we asked the waiter what it meant. he told us that if we ordered a drink, we would get appetizers from a lovely spread just inside the window. a drink was exactly what we needed right about then. we sat at a little table outside, ordered due birras and sighed. what had we gotten ourselves into........then out comes the waiter with two big plates full of samples. commence laughing. by our marvelous skills of deduction, we figured we were just about to enjoy the cafes “leftovers” from the day. probably food that had been sitting out since 8am when the place opened. regardless, it was free, so we gobbled them up. not bad. we were just settling back in our chairs after nearly finishing it all when the waiter came back out the door with a HUGE platter of the entire remaining samples from inside. he had a grin on his face as he plopped them down in front of us. we were in hysterics. it got even worse when a homeless bum came by our table, rambling in rapid italian, and we very nearly asked him to “perform” for a scrap off of our abundant appetizers. we even looked up that word “dance” in italian. this may sound a little cruel, but thank god i married a man with a sense of humor. tears of laughter sure beat tears of disappointment. the final joke of the night before laying our heads on the pristine pillows of our “hotel” room was the cafe bill. we had each had three beers. the going rate on most every menu in town was about four euro. grand total..........42 euro? the bill was not itemized, so there’s no telling what exactly we paid for. either they jacked up the beer price to cover the food cost, or they actually charged for the food (he never said it was free once we stopped to think about it). or.....maybe, just maybe, they were cleverly taking advantage of two giggly americans who didn’t really care what it cost since it got us out of the world’s worst hotel room for just a few hours longer.....
i guess we’ll never know. because there is no way in the world we are ever going back.